The Child Who Does Not Know How to Ask

"You shall tell your Child on that day:"

Answering the Child who Doesn’t Know How to Ask

Translator's Introduction

A continuing theme in Rabbi Bondi's Haggadah is how to addresses the people of his generation: those who are assimilated and who have become associated with divergent liberal groups in the Jewish community.  Even though the answer to the child who does not know how to ask is similar to the answer that is given to the wicked child, Rabbi Bondi makes a point of saying that the silent child is not guilty like his wicked counterpart. How do we explain the common use of Exodus 13:8? The Haggadah only uses the second half of this verse in chastising the wicked child. By beginning with the first half of the verse for the child who doesn’t know how to ask, the Haggadah changes the tone and implications of this verse.

What does Rabbi Bondi tell us about this child? He says that the child who does not know how to ask is unfamiliar with his ancestors and he doesn’t identify with Jewish history personally. As a result, he might take the story of the Exodus as 'mere parable' and not historical fact. That is why his father answers by telling the story as if he personally experienced it: "The Lord took me out of Egypt;" that way, when the child hears the story, he will feel an emotional attachment to what happened to his own parent. Rabbi Bondi implies that the child who doesn’t know how to ask is an assimilated Jew who has no connection to his past - the story must be told in a way that will created such an attachment.

Finally, Rabbi Bondi shares another interpretation of Exodus 13:8 from Rabbi Isaiah Horowitz, author of the Sh'nai Luchot HaBerit. Rabbi Horowitz lived from 1565-1630 and was a renowned Kabbalist - though there is no Kabbalah in this particular interpretation. The verse, he suggests, applies to the moment when the Passover offering is made. Concentrating on sacrifice, the father still has an obligation to answer his son's questions, though he can reassure him that a fuller explanation will be offered later during the meal. Participation in the  sacrificial cult demands concentration. He cannot afford to be distracted while bringing the Pesah offering.

Translation

Regarding the child who doesn’t know how to ask, there are matters that need explanation. The language used to describe this child is different from the other three. Instead of saying "You shall say to him," the Haggadah says, "You shall open for him (aht p'tach lo)."

Further, why do we answer the child who doesn’t know how to ask with Exodus 12:8, the same verse that is used to answer the wicked child? We should equate the wicked child with the child who doesn’t know how to ask, who is not wicked!

However, we answer the wicked child with the second part of Exodus 12:8 and not the first part of this verse: "'It is because of that which the Lord did for me" which is interpreted to imply, "for me and not for him."  The author of the Haggadah uses the second half of the verse exclusively because it doesn’t refer to the wicked child as, "son." As we have seen, in Exodus 12:26 (where the wicked child's question appears) the Torah does not use the word 'children' either: "You shall say, 'It is the Passover offering…'"  Since the Torah omits the word "child" from the answer to the wicked child, so the author of the Haggadah omits it as well.

The first half of the verse refers to the child who doesn’t know how to ask: "You shall tell your child on that day…" The Haggadah suggests that one should answer him directly, "You shall open for him…." One should tell this child about the suffering in Egypt and how God saved the Jewish people so that he will give thanks for the kindness which God performed.

You can't answer the child who doesn’t know how to ask with a question (as you would the other children) since such a question would not arouse the heart of a child to give thanks. Similarly, you cannot answer by speaking of his ancestors who were in Egypt since he does not recognize them nor can you say, "God did for us," because he knows that he was not in Egypt (and doesn’t count himself  as part of the community, in that sense).  He might conclude that the story is merely a parable, and never actually happened. Instead his father should answer him by saying "What the Lord did for me…" as if he was among  those who experienced the suffering of slavery and that God saved him from the hands of the Egyptians. In this way, the child who doesn’t know how to ask will be inspired with compassion about what happened to his own parents.

However, concerned that this child might interpret the expression, "What the Lord did for ME," as applying to his father but not to him (as it does for the wicked child), the verse begins by referring to him as "Your child," "You shall tell your child on that day." That is why we answer this child with the beginning of the verse. By saying "You shall tell your child…" we show him that he has not been removed for the community and  is still considered part of the family. The word v'heegadita, "You shall tell," implies that one should tell the story in a way that draws his heart closer. This means one should answer him with soft words and tell him all that the Torah teaches. The Torah doubles the force of the language by saying v'heegadita…laimor, "You shall tell…saying: the first word implies drawing the child's heart closer to the Torah and the second implies in a soft manner.

Rabbi Isaiah Horowitz, author of Shnei Luchot HaBerit, offers another explanation for Exodus, 13:8. Why is it necessary for the verse to say, "On that day" since the verse also says, "It is because of this.." (Both expressions imply that this ritual takes place on the day when the matzah and maror are placed before the celebrant). Furthermore, isn’t the word, laimor, "saying…" superfluous?

Rabbi Horowitz explains that on the eve of the holiday, when the father is busy preparing the Passover offering, the child might ask his father, "What is this?" It is a commandment for the father to answer his son but when he is involved in making the offering he cannot inform him of all the explanations and commandments as well as miracles which happened to us in Egypt. If he tries, he is liable to err and disqualify the offering.  So he says: "It is impossible to explain everything to you now because I'm busy performing the commandment of the Passover offering. If I try to answer you I'm liable to make a mistake and make the offering improperly. Therefore, my son, please wait until later tonight with the matzah and the maror are before us. Then I will give you a complete explanation of the commandments and the story of the Exodus." In this way he answers his son without interrupting the sacrifice. This is the implication of the verse. "You shall tell your child on that day" - on the eve of Passover when you are making the offering.  "Saying to him" - give him a brief explanation. "Because of this," reassuring him that you'll give a fuller explanation when the matzah and maror are placed before you.